Weirdest stuff purchased at the hardware store

Weird Al Yankovic is best known for making parodies.  He takes popular song music and changes the words in order to poke fun at some part of society and get people laughing.  One of his lesser known pieces is one about the hardware store.  It is not surprising, however, that he chose this as a topic for one of his pieces considering the amount of unique things that can be found at the local hardware store.  While a certain big box store may be known for their odd customers, hardware stores are known for their odd inventory.

  • A potty seat with an activity seat for your tablet. While potty seats usually aren’t purchased at a hardware store, it is good to note that if regular toilets came equipped with this feature, fewer people would have to fish their technology out of the water where they do their business.
  • Since the advent of cell phones, the payphone has gone the way of the dinosaur.  Furthermore, many people admit to having canceled their landlines.  However, if vintage is your thing, you can buy a working payphone at the hardware store.
  • If you do not like your neighbors, or simply want to be the talk of the neighborhood, you could purchase a tree face. There are a variety of expressions to choose from and it is said to be easy to install.
  • Gecko fan. If you work at a certain insurance company or are simply a fan of the little green lizard, then you should enquire at your local hardware store about purchasing a Gecko fan to keep you cool, at least temperature-wise.
  • Revolver Drill. Yes, we all know you can purchase tools at the hardware store, now you can buy them so that it looks like you are packing heat.  It has all of the features of a regular drill including the fact that it is rechargeable and accepts different sized bits.  The difference is, this one will ward off would-be robbers as well.
  • Heavy Duty Transport Wheelchair with Swing-away Footrest. If you go to the hardware store looking for one of these, then maybe do-it-yourself is not for you and you should hire a professional.
  • Cooking supplies, including a brownie maker and a jerky maker. While a hardware store is the best place to purchase a new grill and grilling supplies, that is where the food preparation items should stop.  Here’s hoping that the brownie and jerky makers were only there for the recent holidays.
  • Pet perfume. Again, here is just hoping that the local hardware store only sold this item for the holidays.  After all, smelly animals belong at the local pet store, not the hardware store.


It goes without saying that more and more we are looking for one-stop-shops and places where we can get all of our shopping done in one place.  However, there are specialty shops for a reason and those shops should stick to what they know best.

Weirdest stuff purchased at the hardware store